I can't win

I am so miserable with myself anymore that I am making those around me not want to be around me. Granted I do think that I have valid concerns and reasons for being upset, but it is the way I approach things. I just jump when I am all worked up without taking a minute to process and I end up coming off mean when I am usually just hurt. I think alot of this goes back to how I have no idea how to process things and handle situations that make me uncomfortable. I either lash out or just keep it tucked inside where I don't have to deal with it. It doesn't help that when I DO try to put my feelings out there, they are invalidated. I am told, it's not like that, which is basically saying, "No, you don't feel that way". So why would I want to talk when what I have to say isn't taken to heart. I am so tired of being me sometimes. I look at other people and wonder about their lives and their struggles, if they have any. Do they go through the ups and downs that I do? How do they deal with it? What works for them? I get so frustrated with myself that I can't just listen to my body and my heart and do what is best for me. I ignore that part of me way too much. So much that I have allowed myself to get so down again. I just want to be happy and I know that I am the only one I can rely on for that, and unfortunately I am not very reliable in that department.