One day at a time...

Each day I am starting to see the light more and more. Each day I am able to see myself more as a survivor and less of a victim.
Facing the abuse, reading stories of other survivors, and talking about the abuse has brought me some relief.  I am realizing that I do not need to carry this burden by myself anymore. I am also realizing that I am the way that I am because of the abuse; not because I am a bad person.
The reason I turned to drugs an alcohol so young was my way of coping and hiding from the painful truth of what I was going through behing closed doors. While I was using drugs and alcohol I did not feel anything, I did not have emotions, I did not care about myself - I wanted to get as far away as I could from reality. Now I want nothing more that to be a part of reality. I want to be fully surrounded by it. I want to be present in my life, I want to feel, I want to laugh, I want to cry; I want to be. As the days pass I am allowing this to happen; little by little, and it is wonderful.